Amazing, I tell you, what people will do to a poor car. First off, this is the Dodge version of the Plymouth Cirrus (Actually, it's a Dodge Stratus--thanks to Tyger from #geeks for filling me in). It performs okay, at best. This guy seems to think he has something fast.

Note how the hood says "You Lose". That's clever, except the only people who can read it will be in front of him. Yep. It should really say: "I Lose", and be spelled backwards so that you can read it in your Geo Prizm's rearview mirror as you blast by. Note as well that this is the infamous SuperTouring version of the car. And what the HELL is up with the clown?

This is the side view that first clued me in to this guy. Check out all the stickers. It looks like a bubblegum wrapper, doesn't it? He's got BF Goodrich Tires! And he uses Mobil products! My God--those are SERIOUS performance products! I bet it's more than capable of the 95 KPH speed rating on the driver's door. And that massive Spoiler on the back should help to keep the front end down as this beast...wait a sec, it must weigh two tons. The front end wouldn't come up on this if you had ButterBean sitting on the trunk. Note the beautiful Angela standing in the background, saying "Hurry Up! I think that's the owner walking towards us!!". I'm pretty sure that's Patty McPherson on the left of Angela.

Here's the rearview, with orders to DODGE on the trunk. This is important, less somebody ram into him, as he's stalled out on the side of the road. Note the black soot from above the exhaust. All high performance vehicles burn some oil, right?

The Piece de Resistance! High-performance drum brakes on the rear. Nothing stops a car like a standard drum brake. People can talk all they want about ceramic disc brakes, with six pistons per caliper, but when tit is finally traded for tat, there's one clear winner: Drum Brakes.
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