Please note, the text contained here was originally posted on alt.motorcycle.sportbike in a slightly different format, on August 12, 1998, by yours truly.

Helmet Laws Save Lives

Head injuries are one of the most difficult injuries to treat. Simple trauma can result in life-long damage. Unlike characters on TV shows, amnesia victims, for example, often never recover their memories.

Almost all head injuries are preventable. We just have to make sure the proper precautions are in place. In light of this, I propose:

100% FullTime Mandatory Full-Face Snell-approved helmet law:

Helmets must be worn at all times, regardless of activity. Helmets may only be removed for cleansing of face/head, which must be done in a prone position (to minimize chances of a fall) with a soft rag and eye protection (to minimize soap in eyes), in an open space. This open space must not have any other items in it for a minimum distance of 36" from any point on the washee's body. Said helmet must be replaced every 3 years. Each helmet is to be marked with a government-approved barcode. This barcode will allow lifetime medical history to be tracked (thus obsoleting the proposed Universal Medical ID Number) , in addition to criminal records.

Advantages:

Reduced Pedestrian Head Injuries: no more slipping in the shower, or on the sidewalk, and banging one's head.
Reduced Automotive Head Injuries: Smashing in a windshield with one's forehead will now only result in a slight headache
Reduced Equestrian Head Injuries: helmets while riding horse are currently optional. Passing a separate law to cover a relatively uncommon activity like horse-riding is inefficient when it can be brought under the umbrella of more comprehensive legislation, like this
Reduced discrimination: Race can't be guessed from looking at the face. Also, ugly/beautiful people are now equal.
Enhanced Police Efficiency: A unique bar-code will be painted on the front and rear of the helmet, allowing police officers to identify citizens/criminals immediately.
Eye Protection: No longer will insects, or any other debris, fly into an unsuspecting person's eyes.
Improved Economy: Helmet manufacturing will boom, and jobs will be created.
Standardization of Head Protective Gear: No longer will people have to choose between different types of head protection, such as hearing protectors, hard hats, motorcycle helmets or hairnets. All will be superceded by the USGH: United States General Helmet.
Fewer Inadvertant Consequences from Police Arrest: Often during an arrest, the arresting officers must force the suspect to the ground. Sometimes, the suspect ends up hitting their head on the ground, or on the car door while entering the police cruiser. The USGH will virtually eliminate this type of injury
No more mistaken identity: It will be impossible to confuse one person for another, since each helmet is uniquely marked, and trading helmets will be a felony.
Reduction in overall medical costs: Without head injuries to consume medical resources, and tax dollars, there will be enough money and medical personnel to ensure that all children receive their innoculations and every citizen gets the necessary preventative care. Furthermore, the reduction in medical costs will enable a substantial tax cut.

Disadvantages:

Everyone always has to be wearing a helmet: This is actually an advantage. See above list.
Somewhat Reduced Peripheral Vision: In reality, this is an advantage in a crowded society such as ours. Much as blinders help to keep a horse calm, cutting out fifteen to thirty degrees of peripheral motion will merely serve to calm the average citizen
Ease of enforcement: Police will easily be able to spot an offender, and ticket them. The revenue from such tickets can be used to fund a more powerful, more efficient police, and that benefits everyone.
Reduction in organ donors: Unfortunately, severe head injuries can kill a person without harming the rest of their body, making them prime candidates for organ donation. While the reduction in organ donations will be difficult to deal with at first, the medical community will quickly respond by denying organ transplants to anyone without sufficient funds (much like today)
Career Uncertainty for Head Trauma Specialists: While this is a short-term disadvantage, these skilled medical personnel can quickly be retrained for a more productive career in such fields as podiatry and court reporting.

As you can see, standardization on the USGH is the only option for a civilized society. Don't let the uninformed and the careless steal your tax dollars! Call your congressman and tell them that you demand implementation of the USGH!